I want to play ball with my kids before I get too old, and before that happens I need to get laid, and before that happens I need to be in love, and I don’t want to hear edddon’tknow I can’t help eddon’tknow. No, No I’m a catch and I’m not going to be the one that got away.

…

There’s nobody I hate enough to write her name on this card.

brilliant

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